You can find loads and loads of First date tips for guys. Most of it sounds more like Greek philosophers rather than someone who actually went on a date. But here at GreatSex Dating we believe in ACTION and not so much talk (writing). We are gonna show you how things work from the inside (No pun intended – ok – a little bit).
The first date tips we will give you is sort of a sequence, based on the body chemistry and most optimal human behavior, to which she will respond positively.
In other words, these first date tips for guys will teach you, in a step-by-step process, how to handle your woman on a first date. We’ll teach you how first date topics and conversations are getting created on their own but we won’t shy away from first date flirting tips either. As you’ll soon find out, there’s a simple rule of how to create the atmosphere which involves, yet not limited to, the first date kiss.
In fact, there’s a simple, yet mostly overlooked, way to know if she’s in for sex on a first date! How cool is that, right? A good first date tips – right?
The first thing you must realize is that the entire “dating” concept is based on body (brain) chemistry.
Hence, your job, as a man who goes out with the woman on a first date, is to trigger the specific cocktail of chemicals.
The first one you should be focused on is oxytocin, or the trust chemical.
First date success depends on the level of trust you managed to establish because women are careful and wary!
One of our most important first date tips is how to win her trust because everything revolves around the trust. And in the case of a woman who meets with the strange guy for the first time, this right here will act as the deal maker or, in some situations, deal breaker.
So how to entice her brain to start firing oxytocin neurotransmitter?
Go outside this evening and sit at the bench at some high-frequency place. Observe the passing crowd. You’ll see 3 types of people:
- solo passers
- friends (acquaintances)
Solo passers are people who move either in fast pace or slow, zero gravity style, surveying the environment. Friends and acquaintances are walking side by side with a minimum distance of 3 feet (80-90 cm), with only forced body contact if they are avoiding the crowd. Couples are either holding their hands (if they don’t have a need to hide the fact that they seeing each other) or at least touching each other with their arms, walking side by side on a short distance, most likely within 1 foot (30 cm).
What does that tell you how can you use that as first date tips?
CLOSE VICINITY is the key! The closer you get to someone, more oxytocin is getting exchanged between you and that other person. That’s why you’re shakinghands when meeting someone new or sealing the deal. You instinctively seek for the oxytocin exchange.
The level of trust is proportional to the level of the exchanged oxytocin chemical (the frequency of mutual firing of this neurotransmitter).
Keep the distance between yourself and the woman on a first date and you two will stay strangers! It’s that simple.
Translated in first date tips, this means that when you sit at the table, you don’t sit across the woman. You sit beside (close to) your date. Don’t shy away from occasional, “accidental” physical contact (touch).
Thus, your first, first date tip is this: reduce the distance without appearing too intrusive and DO TOUCH her arm, leg or torso from time to time. DO PUSH her with your body when your two are laughing about something.
Allow her to feel you!! Dont forget this VERY important first date tips.
Oxytocin is the primary neurotransmitter (hormone) you want to entice in her. It’s that same chemical that overwhelms a mother and a newborn child, creating the strongest bond known to man.
It’s clear how our relationships — regardless of the type of the connection — depends mostly on that specific hormone.
So, when you decide to sit on a bench, for example, sit close to her. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll squeeze her or sit right in her lap. You will leave some respectful distance but that will be not more than 1 foot (20-30 cm). That way, you can swing your leg and touch her when she says something funny or provocative.
Let’s move on with the sequence of first date tips…
Some more first date tips?
Let me guess…you wanna take her to dinner, right? WRONG!
Many guys are making this mistake. It’s the mistake because of three things that act counterproductively:
- You’ll be most likely forced to sit across, which means less oxytocin exchange.
- You’ll be forced into an interview style of Q&A’s, which is not the way to talk on a first date. There’s nothing going on around you that you can use, so you’re limited on personal questions only.
- Last but not the least, you’re losing control and pretty much depend on a chef and the rest of the staff. If the dinner or wine sucks, that won’t play in your favour! If someone spills the red wine all over her new dress, it’s highly unlikely that she’ll run to your place, take it off, sit in her underwear and wait for you to do the magic!
But let’s say that you’re a stubborn fellow, who just don’t trust the guy who went on more than a hundred first dates (yeah…I like women, what can I do), and you decide to take her to dinner.
We are most likely talking about the woman about whom you know nothing about.
What would be your first date topics? What kind of the first date conversation style you’ll be using? What you’re gonna talk about? What questions would you ask her?
Even better, what would be your choice for the first date outfit? How would you dress for that occasion? Formally? Sure…why not limiting yourself before you even start.
You see, the moment you pull that chair for her, you’re expected to start the conversation. Due to the environment, you’re limited on Q&As and reduced volume of voice which means no loud laughter. And you’re expected to listen more and talk less. That, my friend, can turn out to be the deal breaker and in most cases, it is. Men simply suck in conversation with women!
BE PROACTIVE and take her to dynamical and exciting places where you two will have more opportunity for body contact and where first date topics will start popping on their own!!! Get some adrenaline going in her body. This is the best first date tips we can give you…..
Although, even the all-time’s most boring thing such as museum can turn out to be an exciting experience. You can always, ALWAYS, take her gently under the arm and “show” her something interesting on the ”other side” of the room. Getting the picture?
Be creative. Also, don’t spend too much time in a silent environment because you want action and opportunity, not boredom.
Now some guys will recommend pool or bowling if you’re good at it. That may or may not be a good choice because it really does depend on her affection toward the “men only” sports.
You’re better off taking her to some proven stand-up comedy or go-cart or amusement park where you can take a ride in one of those electric cars or perhaps even engage in some more adrenaline-based activities (don’t over exaggerate with it because, for all you know, a woman may suffer from fear of heights!)
What you want to ultimately do on the first date is to create the atmosphere of joy, excitement, and laughter.
You want reward brain chemicals such as serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins, along with oxy. That’s why amusement parks are the best options because they automatically remind people of their childhood, thus creating the feeling of positive excitement and subsequently – the trust. Add the adrenaline-driven attractions and you have a winner.
Hardly anything works better on first dates than fun parks because the dating game is all about the atmosphere!
The trick is to stay DYNAMICAL meaning that you have to move places – don’t stay at the same place the whole date.
In other words, YOU HAVE TO MOVE HER!! Stay in one place for too long or even worse, pick one place only, and she won’t create some highly relevant memory block about the time she has spent with you.
By moving her from place to place (that’s why you need to develop the first date plan!), her brain is getting over-stimulated, which is forcing it to create more complex memory blocks. As the result, she’ll never forget that first date with you!
For instance, some first date tips could be – pick her up and take her to the park. Have fun for 2 hours, changing attractions and using the movie cliché where you “shoot” the duck or a teddy bear and win it for her. Just don’t shoot the guy like I did once. Eat that cotton candy stuff or ice cream if you like. Have fun! Mingle and use every, and I mean EVERY single opportunity for body contact. Even if it means just an “accidental” contact of the arms or legs, or even better – head.
In short, make that first date dynamical and full of contacts. Overwhelm her brain with lots of different stimuli.
Most importantly, be in charge! Don’t waste time on “Would you like to go to…” and similar crap because if there’s something every woman seeks in the man, that’s decisiveness and determination to take charge when needed. One of the important first date tips is to be self-confident and decisive.
Those men that can’t seem to make up their damn minds even about simple things, tend to lose their women! You can give them all the first date tips in the world – if you are too insecure – they won’t work.
Then, when the atmosphere is at its peak, go see some good stand-up comedy or any kind of show (with lots of audience).
All that time, pay close attention to communication cues. Most predominantly, these two:
- Her eyes and facial expressions
- Her body language
What you want to know is how’s she responding to your courtship. Is there that famous spark or is she just waiting for the whole thing to end so she could go back to bed?
Notice that “under-the-eyebrow” look when she’s zipping her drink on the straw. See if there’s any sign of that subtle smile. When you see it, return the look, return the smile, wait for her to take that zip, pull her closer and go for that first date kiss! Yes, you heard it right. Go for it, don’t wait it out.
Don’t shy away from flirting on your first date with a woman. Just don’t make scary and awkward faces and don’t stare!
Many men are acting self-destructive, waiting for those last 5 minutes of the first date to get that first date kiss. That’s an entirely wrong approach for two distinct reasons:
- You appear less confident and less decisive if you need hours before taking the initiative.
Don’t fool yourself; she’s constantly assessing you. It’s her primitive part of the brain that must give the signal before anything else. And in that limbic part of the brain, there is no logic, or speech, or cognitive behavior. Only emotions and instincts. Remember that. That’s why your actions and reactions must be aimed in triggering her neurons in most optimal way. You are basically trying to hack into her mind. And the only way to do it is to entice the firing of reward chemicals!!
- You’re building up the pressure which triggers the cortisol.
In other words, you’re not thinking clearly anymore because when cortisol is in the game, a good portion of your working memory is out of it. The limbic parts of the brain are taking over, rendering you completely incapable of any positive or efficient human interaction. You really, really don’t want to rely on your hunter-gatherer instincts when on the first date with a woman!!
When you connect these two, you can realize why so many seemingly great dates end up without any chance for the sequel. Even if you land that first date kiss, it will feel awkward because the fact is: you’re in “fight-or-flight” mode due to all that cortisol overexposure, ready to face the danger!! How romantic is that…
Only after you have some good laughs, take her to some quiet and more intimate place where you can CONTINUE with those gentle, soft and brain-spinning kissing. Don’t act too aggressive. First date kiss is about oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin activation. You want her to feel safe and relaxed in your arms. Only after you achieve that, only then you’re setting the stage for her sheets to undergo a thorough laundering
But what about first date topics? You do have to talk about something, right?
The most difficult period of the first date is behind you. Only the good parts are left now. If she responded positively on your kiss and kissed you back, the door is open my friend. She’s yours.
Don’t be afraid to talk about more intimate things like sexual preferences. You’d be surprised how quality intel you can extract from a woman if you use more direct approach.
I remember one time I went on a date with the girl and after having all sorts of adrenaline fun for a couple of hours (we actually kissed in that horror tunnel), I’ve decided to isolate us from the crowd. There was a neat small city park close by so we sat on the bench. Kissing and she told me about how she prefers rough sex from behind. Romantic lovemaking makes her sick, she claimed. Can you believe that?
What I’m trying to say here is that you shouldn’t be afraid of shooting few direct questions. After all, nobody’s fool. She’s well aware of the main reason behind your courtship. And make no mistake about one other thing: she wants sex same as you.
That’s where people are mistaking and trying to act like Gregory Peck and the rest of those movie stars from the 40s and 50s. Drag with the whole thing and it will be gone with the wind.
At the end comes the single most important first date tip ever: don’t bust your chops with things like how can I impress her, will she be impressed, she’s out of my reach, and similar crap!
Instead, focus on things that matter to you. Just because somebody is pretty and has a smokin’ body, it doesn’t mean that you’ll feel the heat in your stomach. So control your thinking process. Who is this woman? What she has to offer to me? What are her like’s and dislike’s? What is she expecting from the man? Is she worth the chase?
Relax because she already gave you a clear cue. Just the fact that she’s willing to step outside her comfort zone and go out on a date with you, speaks in favor of her imminent interest in you. Otherwise, she would reject the entire idea! Keep that in mind when doubt strikes!
Thus, the premise: don’t try too hard
Because it’s not just impossible to hide the fact that you’re sucking up, it’s also sending a clear signal to her brain that something isn’t right. You’re either suffering from low self-confidence issue or you’re trying to disguise some nasty motive into a nice envelope.
That’s how she is perceiving your constant: “How smart you are,” “How beautiful you are,” “Yes, I agree,” and all sorts of affirmative crap guys is selling in a desperate attempt to win the woman’s affection for them.
Being too responsive and too affirmative (agreeing with everything she says or does) turns women off!
She’s super hot and you’re ugly as a just-hatched chicken. So what? You think she’s way out of your league? Think that and you’re blocking yourself before you even give it a shot.
Here’s the hardcore reality sport: attractive women, who are using their brains rather than their bodies to survive in this harsh world are lonely!
And they are lonely only because the majority of the guys are thinking how they are “way out of their league.” She’s yearning for the normal, smart and funny guy. All she’s getting are dumb, fat asses with the thicker wallet who thinks how every good-looking woman is for sale. If she would be into that shit then you wouldn’t even get an opportunity to ask her out.
What you focus on expands, remember that. Think negative, and that’s exactly the result you can expect from the entire deal. Think positive on the other hand, and you’ll be pumping ugly with the hot woman on the 2nd or 3rd date! Read the cues right and you’ll be having sex on a first date.
Just don’t underestimate your values. The fact that she has accepted your invitation is opening the door for you. Play it smart and you’ll win any woman because, in the end, all every woman wants, is someone who will do 3 things for her:
1. To love her unconditionally.
2. To be loyal to her.
3. To be the man with whom she’ll feel safe, sound and satisfied!
You don’t need a freakin’ Ferrari for that. Although, it would be a great plus.
Oh yeah, we did promise one more thing.
How to know that she’s in for sex on a first date
Depending on your experience in dating, you may or may not be aware that 100% of women anticipate sex on the first date. It comes as a shock to most men because they have some sort of delusion how women are different from men in that matter.
The reality is the opposite. You ask her out. She accepts. Ergo, she’s thinking about sex!!!
That doesn’t mean that she’ll have sex with you on the first sight. Far from that. Although, dragging with the entire thing will in fact cool her off.
So how to know if she’s willing to go in bed with you even before you take her out?
In most cases, we are talking about women for whom you know that they have a crush in you. Little birds are flying all over the place, telling secrets. If that’s the case, or you have some other cue that tells you how the woman you’re about to meet wanna have sex with you that same night, here’s what you’ll do. Do it even if you don’t know anything about her!!
An hour before your arranged meeting time, ask her, “If it’s not too much bother for her to come to pick you up.” Make something up about how your ETFs or CDFs are in a critical stage right now and you just have to finish what you’ve started to have a calm and romantic evening with her. Don’t worry if you don’t know what are the ETFs and CDFs, although, for your successful and fertile financial life, it would be wise to learn how to trade those!!
Another approach is to say/text how you just need to finish some unexpected workload due to the deadline and would only take a small, additional time.
If she accepts (regardless of the tone of her voice), you successfully passed this step.
Wet your hair to look like you just got out of the shower, a couple of minutes before her expected arrival. Wear some jeans that looks good on you, get your casual button shirt on (don’t button up all the way if you have a torso to brag with), and pour yourself a glass of red wine. Your everyday slippers are on your feet – socks-free!!
Wait for the doorbell.
After she rings the doorbell, open for her while holding the half-empty glass in your hand right in front of her eyes.
Say this: “Please, come on in. I have just a couple of more emails to send. It won’t take long.”
Without stopping smiling, call her inside.
If she agrees and walks inside, you successfully passed this step.
Politely ask her to take off her shoes. It’s a tricky one but it’s crucial test nevertheless. If she accepts — again, regardless of her facial expression — you’re most likely in for the hot ride this night. You two won’t move from your place ‘till morning comes.
Make something up if you want to provide her with the reason like new Persian carpet and similar stuff but you really don’t need to do it. Less you talk, more confident you appear! Don’t forget that women like places that are neat and clean. Your no-shoes policy is triggering the positive response, no worries.
As she’s entering your living room, searching for the place to sit down, you slam your forehead and say: “How rude from me. Would you like to have a glass of excellent red wine while you’re waiting for me?”
If she accepts your offer, you can bet your damn ass that she’s in for the sex right there, right now!
How can you be sure that this works and what’s the meaning of each step?
Step 1 is the initial test of her interest in you. If she refuses to come and pick you up, that means that she’s either scared (too wary) or not that much into you. The question is: is she worth the chase?
If she accepts, she has successfully exited the first security layer of her comfort zone. For some reason, she feels confident enough to come to your place. Don’t be naïve – she’s one part sure what you’re trying to pull here which means that she’s willing to play the game. In other words, same as you, she’s is considering sex as the option even at this moment.
In addition, you “excuse” is smart. You’re appearing busy and highly professional. In her minds, that spells security because it’s clear that you’re making money. Another positive signal!
Step 2 is where things start to crystallize even more. Her willingness to enter the home of a relative stranger, already speaks a lot about that woman. She’s confident; she has established the trust in you; she observes the man-woman relationship with the open mind.
Step 3 is the crucial test because she’s showing the willingness to take off the piece of the clothes in the home of a stranger – the piece of the outfit she carefully assembled for this occasion. Shoes are carrying significant importance. Once you’re barefoot, you’re practically exposed.
Step 4, or the wine test, is the final checkpoint and it really doesn’t demand any further explanation. Although, one warning must be issued here: don’t leave her alone for too long. 2 minutes top, otherwise you’re risking boredom which will force her to investigate this new environment she found herself into. You really don’t want that. So get back as soon as possible — 60 sec. rule — use that “under-the-eyebrow” look, propose the toast (“To us!”), take a zip and wait for her response. It will come in a shape of that same “under-the-eyebrow” look and smile, which means the foreplay is over. Take the initiative, pull her closer and kiss her!
Remember, what you have here is a simple sequence of behavior that leads to only one conclusion: she wants to have sex with you, right there, at that moment. Screw the bars, movies, and restaurants. Woman seeks pleasure.
If you have any doubts about women’s willingness to have sex on a first date, think about this:
Why would she even bother shaving her legs, trimming and styling her bikini zone, putting the makeup on, and spending the day before the date shopping for the lingerie and sexy dress, if she isn’t thinking about the possibility of having sex on a first date?
Have fun dude. That’s what life’s all about. Sometimes, things will work out for the best. Sometimes, there will be no chemistry and the entire deal will suck. It’s the way things work.
We are establishing relationships only AFTER we spend some time with another person. Don’t forget that there are 3,7 billion women on this planet if you know what I mean.
That’s why we date in the first place! We are seeking for our kind of people to envelop all 5 life essentials under the same roof: air, water, food, sleep, and sex!
That’s all every human being on this planet needs and seeks for; men and women alike!
You can read many more articles with sex, relationship advice in our Ballz Magazine
By: Riccardo Pallucci